Joke 1

A judge decides which kind of punishment each thief is about to receive!



Judge: “You will get as many years in prison for as many items you`ve stolen.”



First Thief: “I`ve stolen a can of sardines I get one year of prison”;





Second Thief: “I`ve stolen a tray of eggs, I get 30 years!”;



Third Thief: “Why? Why have I stolen a bag of rice?”



Joke 2

Pregnant maid



Wife: “Honey, our maid is pregnant!”



Husband: “It's her problem.”



Wife: “Neighbors are gossiping.”



Husband: ”It's their problem.”



Wife: “I`m afraid.



Husband: ”It's your problem.”



Wife: ”is the child is from you?



Husband: ”That's my problem! ”



Joke 3

Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says: ‘I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.’



Joke 4

That awkward moment when you help your crush with her assignment and she gets zero.My brother just forget about the explanation and go your way peacefully.



Joke 5

To those girls who feel too big to reply messages, A time will come that you will be desperate for a husband. That’s when a man will ask you “How are you doing?” And you will reply “YES I DO”



Joke 6

MAD MAN: Doctor, i have a problem; everyday i dream of cows playing football

DOCTOR: Here; take these tablets at night

MAD MAN: I’ll start tomorrow because today is finals



Joke 7

When you sit down for an interview and the interviewer greet you by your Facebook name



Good day “Miss slay queen hottest bae.



My sister just pack your CV and run.



Joke 8

9). Dear ladies if your boyfriend doesn’t reply you immediately when you text… Just know he is either sleeping or reading the bible.. MEN DON’T CHEAT



Joke 9

Nothing makes a guy happier than when his girlfriend says “Go and lock the door first…”



Joke 10

The ways girls will convince that you are handsome if you have money, you will stand if front of the mirror and you will be like “Maybe I should go into modeling.. My brother don’t be deceived, remain where you are.



Joke 11

Breast-less girl still wearing bra. What are you trying to hold? Your heart or your feelings



Joke 12

When am bored I call MTN customer care and ask why my phone isn’t charging



Joke 13

You spend the whole day on social media ,You don't wash your own clothes,You don't even know where the broom is kept in your house. As that's not enough you can't even cook simple vegetables. My sister your bride price should be 1 Facebook LIKE and 2 Comments



Joke 14

I slowly shifted her panty to the side and removed my boxer. This habits​ of sharing the dry line with ladies is so annoying



What were you thinking ? Am not a bad Child now...



Joke 15

You would know you are watching a Nigerian movie when it says "35yrs later "but the dog in the yard is still alive.



Joke 17

Toothpicks were missing in the house, then my Mother asked our maid, and she was like: it’s not me, even when I use I put them back



Joke 18

Some African Parents will be like ‘I will not place curse on you, but whatever you do to me your children will do you same. Is this one a proclamation or a declaration??





Joke 19

Women already have 3-5 days of loosing blood every month. Can’t mosquitoes be considerate and focus only on men..



Joke 20

Everyone has a right to be foolish but some idiots use it stupidly.

Teacher: Mention 10 wild animals

Student: 5lions. 5tigers. . . . . .