Why in the hell would you move on from a relationship when you are still in love? This makes no sense in many ways, but does make sense in so many other ways.

This usually happens when your partner is a complete asshole but you’re still holding on to how this person previously treated you or from their past actions. Relationships are harder investments to walk away from than an investment with money. Giving someone all of you is different than the exchange of funds. We are wired to want and need love and the value of someone’s love that is not a friend or family member is greater for most. That last statement is weird, yet true for most. You should not leave until all has been exhausted.

Never give any human being all of you. Invest that effort into your self-discovery and self-fulfillment. Your ROI (Return on Investment) is greater when you invest in yourself first.

Love

Love is a deep romantic or sexual attachment to a person. Are you just in love with the idea of being in love? There needs to be an understanding developed on the emotions that have you in a relationship that you want to move on from while still in love. Love is based on the foundation of the relationship. The foundation is what the attraction is to your partner.

Why do you love the person that you’re with? Is it the person’s physical appearance, money, possible future, or the fact that the person catered to your every need? None of that should be the foundation of a relationship.

The foundation must be a combination of many things and none of them are superficial. Foundational things that should bring the emotion of love are: they inspire and or motivate you, they are supportive of all dreams and goals, non-judgmental, emotional and physically supportive, caring, friendship, sharing, and understanding. All other things are what I would call furniture that you decorate the house with. This means the house is the foundation and the furniture is the physical looks, money, and the great treatment.

What is the investment?

How much of you have you given to this relationship and what are you losing by leaving? It’s always harder to leave your best friend that has been by your side for many years. Is your future tied up into this relationship? Now, what you must realize is that your investment in the relationship is LOST once you decide to move on. No, you can’t have the gifts back, and there is no return of effort or time.

Exhaustion of all efforts

What have you done to keep the relationship going and has it been genuine or forced? When and if you decide to move on, regret can’t exist. When you’re single and you ask yourself the question of what you did to keep it going, there needs to be multiple answers.

You can move on to something else and you know you left something on the table. You can know that it will not lead to positive change, but you still must make the effort. The effort should be things like talking, dates, gifts, sex, compromise, distance, and a host of other things to try and change the mood. Exhaustion of all efforts helps remove the regret when moving on from the relationship.